I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize