Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Life is so much better after having sex.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
