the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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