i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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