I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
