can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
