Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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