Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
