Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
