Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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