you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
two words...techno handjob
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
