so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
