Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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