Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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