the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
