So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
