if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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