God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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