You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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