She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
