So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
