Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
