don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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