brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
