You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
