Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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