I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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