after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
