remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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