Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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