can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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