i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
