Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

My penis looks like a roll of pennies

(303): View more from Colorado

Oh. Ok. I get the hint.

(404): View more from Georgia

Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.

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(319): View more from Iowa

I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..

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(910): View more from North Carolina

then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.

(910): View more from North Carolina

it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.

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