She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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