wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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