I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize