I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
