Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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