dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
