I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
where does the pee come out of this thing
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
