Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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