1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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