I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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