Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize