You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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