i just google imaged poop.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize