I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
vagina is talking i cant
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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