real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
