summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
