i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
