A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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