You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just cropdusted the office
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
