Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
