dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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