So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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