just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
