college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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