I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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