You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
No subtext here. People are naked.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
MIDGETS
????
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
