You're my little dorito
I don't think brook has ever known best
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
