AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
