Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
