you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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